Tienes Consequencia!

Levels and consequences...

The level system seemed simple enough. There were only 6; how long could 6 levels possibly take to get through? Well, the levels were based on 4 things: points, seminars, peers, and your case manager. We started out with a certain number of points each day and depending on how many consequences we got that day, we might end up with some leftover. 

What is a consequence? It's a piece of paper that is given to you if you break a rule. There were 5 levels of consequences, and they ranged from not removing all the hair out of your brush(category 1) to runaway plans(category 5). You could almost get a consequence for anything in this place because the rules were ridiculous and nearly impossible to not break. It was a total mind game. 

You could get a consequence for looking out of line(we had to walk in lines everywhere we went with a 'mama' and a couple of upper levels watching.) you could get a consequence for not pivoting on a turn. You could get a consequence for attempting to speak without asking a 3d person to listen(2 people were never allowed to talk). You could get a consequence for accidentally taking a pen in the bathroom because you stuck it in your hair and forgot about it. You would get a consequence if you forgot your water bottle or didn't make your bed correctly. We even got consequences for speaking English! The list goes on and on. 

For the first couple of months, I was there, I spent most of my time in worksheets. It doesn't sound that bad, but it's a little room with chairs lined up facing the walls and dividers on the sides so you couldn't see the person next to you. If you got a category 2, you had to go there for the day. What could you do in worksheets? Absolutely nothing, but stare at the wall and listen to history tapes play over and over again. 3 times a day, they would give you food and take you to the restroom. It was the kind of torture that made you feel like you were losing your mind. 

The Showers

The showers are well deserving of their own post. They never really sprayed water, it was more like a trickle of either ice cold or scorching hot water. The showerheads were mounted all along the walls of a big room just like you see in prison movies except we had a little divider on each side. On the floor, there were gym mat looking things and drains and the most pubic hair and mold you've ever seen in your life! We were not allowed to shave because God forbid one of us use it to slit our wrist or something... Behind the knobs where you turn the water on, there were used bloody tampons. Girls would just take them out and shove them behind the knob instead of throwing them away. Some girls would shit in their hands and smear it all over the walls. It's true what they say.. If you treat people like animals, they start acting like animals. 

We were given 10 minutes to shower which started from the moment we walked in the bathroom to the moment we walked out so the shower itself was maybe 3 minutes. Apparently, my parents forgot to send me with a towel or a brush so for the first 2 months I was there I used a T-shirt and a small plastic comb. My hair was dreadlocked.

Welcome to Casa By The Sea

I was handed a uniform and made to put it on. Then a girl named Danielle was assigned as an upper-lever buddy to me. She was a level 6 which meant she would be in the next group to go home. Danielle took me to the Commodore - A cafeteria-like large room with a little slit in the wall where some faceless person would slip you a plate. We sat down at a long plastic picnic table inside and a plate of the nastiest piece of brown fish you've ever seen was placed in front of me. I looked at my new 'buddy' and said there is NO WAY I'm eating that... Then she proceeded to tell me that I had to and if I didn't, the mamas would force me and if I threw up, I would be made to eat it. WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?! I remember thinking there is just no way this is real. I thought my parents must be playing a cruel trick on me. They could never just abandon me in a place like this. I asked Danielle how long she had been there and she said over a year. Over a year? So... Will I have to be here that long too??? She told me the fastest anyone had gotten out was 9 months... There was just no way I could do this for a year. No possible way.